YThursday, November 6, 2008
A Feeling
I have just been thinking that what if one day, I happen to be missing or dead : Will anyone notice? People in school seems to treat me like dirt or a tool to be used by them, one that will only have value when a problem arises. What if the tool had never existed before, what will the people do? What will they use in place of me or just do nothing at all. Problem is that I find a lot of people that are around me clueless about what I am or who am I. Also, there seem to be quite a few people that dislike my presence or even my very existence in this world. Maybe because that I do not interact much with them that they may feel that I am alright by myself. But the fact is I hate being alone. I've been too used to being in the dark all by myself that it has become much too scary to let it go on. I do not feel that people around me truly want to know me and understand me but only use me for their own personal purpose. Maybe I have trapped myself in a hard solid cocoon that only I myself can break free but I doubt that I can as I am very comfortable in it. I might also be afraid that if i break free, I will have no place to hide in times of danger. The cocoon contains all my emotions of sadness and sorrow which I have felt whenever I do not have people to talk to. But still, the most improtant thing that let me carry on is the happyness of the people around me, no matter how much they can't see me. Its the value of the friends that I treasure : Benjamin, Linden, Yunhan. These are the very few that I treasure with all my heart eventhough I've fought with them many times in the past and I really wish they too find value in me, and to treasure the friendship between us.
Finially...My sorrows r let out
